dream
So here’s my dream from last night.. Short but yet, I love it…
I was actually thinking of my next year birthday party… Best is a surprise party.. Sweet 16 you know!
I didn’t care much after that, so I went to sleep..
My dream was awesome! It is about my sweet 16… He organized it..surprise party somemore! Presents,cake, and music! I was happily dancing to the music with others.. It was fun.. Then he passed me my present. There was a card handmade by him.. It was totally the coolest birthday card ever! And he gave me either a dress or an accessories (can’t remember)… All I know was i love it! I was looking at him and thanking him for it..guess what! he suddenly gave me a kiss on my lips!!!! Ahhhhhhhh! Heavens! Haha! Romantic luh. Ohya, there were roses too! Party continued , cutting of cakes and stuffs. Party was over, he accompanied me the whole night till the next day… THE BEST party ever! 
Hope it comes true next year.. Got “o” level somemore… Haiis..
questions…
Are we stupid to hide our feelings from others?
Are we suppose to be emotionally stronger even when we can’t?
Are we suppose to fake as if everything is fine but the fact that it isn’t?!
Why are we always lying to ourself that things would be fine but it isn’t?
Why am I the emotional kind of person? It sucks!
Why do I feel so hurt with small things which happened the way it didn’t turn out to be?
Whyyy! Questions in my head! Who can help me solve it?
Why are we like this????????
Whywhywhy?
And why am I born in this world? How would things be like without me? Would everything be better?
outing 8nov
Went to school. Rushed home and back to heartland … Meet up with baby…:) ate qiji. Hah! So happy that finally he didn’t pangseh… Both of us were too tired to go Ecp.. So we headed to plaza sing to walk around and kill time before the movie starts… We’re watching Megamind 3D at the Cathay… I was literally freezing cold there! He didn’t freaking hug me or something to give me warmth… 
at least he prayed for me:) he looked super cute in those 3D glasses luhh! Haha! Too bad I didn’t take a photo of it… Next time bah. The movie is nice and hilarious!
After the movie, we headed down to just acia for our dinner.. He was crazy at that time.. Snakes and dragons! Our secrets.. Haha! Yea.. Then we Mrt back home.. Saw joshua heng’s Sis(can’t remember her name)… Chat and stuffs.. Then walked back home… Baby finally knew how long he hasn’t come over le! He kept bullying me all the way luhh, major bad! He Chat with mummy, blah… Sent him to the bus stop… Finally a hug! Waited so god damn long for it! Haha! Super happy , even though it was short… After he boarded the bus, I was smiling from ear to ear ! Haha! Love him so much!!!
Home le, watching the show halfway, blackout.. Then after some time, it came back…
Hope you enjoyed yourself !
outing
Enjoyed my time today with Xueli.. Even though it isn’t the whole day, but fun!!! So gonna go out with her again! Didn’t watch movie, went for neoprints and manicure!! Haha! I go nice nails now… Hehe..
Now I’m at baby’s place…:)
feelings
No one can understand how I feel now… Even if I were to say it how, how much can you understand ?
I feel hurt, jealous, angry , sad. My happiness , smile and laughter just last for a while. And it’s gone..
Sometimes I don’t know who I am anymore. I just want to be who I was… And to be myself.. I hardly can..
I’ve kinda lost half of my heart.. It’s broken.. Will it ever be repaired? I don’t know.
There’s no one I can turn to. No shoulder to cry on..
It sucks okay! This sucks!! No girl will want to go through that!!
I want to numb myself!! Why do we have feelings?
school today
Okay. Here’s what happened from this morning till now…
Woke up at 6.45am, for school.. Super nice sleep I had, nice dream too..
Headed to school, was almost late. Then lessons start. English was entertaining. And suddenly mr Lawrence talked about child birth.. Gosh,painful process!
Then I shall skip some stuffs, and history lessons, we got to continue watching hitler rise to evil. More and more exciting, but the place we watch in is not comfy at all! Except for the aircon. But sadly we only get to watch for an hour, it will continue and end tomorrow!
Then went for physics and maths.. Bored. After school, Qian and I headed to heartland mall yoshinOya.. Ate a lil,and my tummy starts hurting again! Argh… And I’m blogging in yoshinoya now.. Heheh. Slacking time, while I enjoy all my favorite songs that they are blasting
me?
My tummy is hurting like shit for almost a week. Is it because of the food I ate or is it because of the monthly thing? Hmmm…
School today was boring after English. But everything changed when mr lim showed us a movie titled ” hitler rise of evil ” … It’s a very nice show, but we only got an hour . The total duration is 180mins. So another two more lessons will be for us to finish the movie!:)
And tuition time was fun, chat all the way. Talking about many stuffs, example: Satan,illumati, gays,religions,death,Halloween, horror movies,etc…it’s been so long since we’ve chat till like this. And soon I won’t get the chance.. But I’ll still arrange with the others for outing…
Cool ehh..
Yea… I got no idea what I want to say right now, so I’ll end it…
Byes! Buenos noches amigos!
hungry for more of GOD
Are we hungry for more of GOD?
Yes of course…
I’ve got more of god today, just now in TNG.. But it’s not enough. I want more!
Was praying for my hatred , guilt , shame, to go away. And that my heart mind and soul will be open for god to enter.. And also that his glory and presence will fall upon me…
There was waterfall. Even though I felt tired but I just continue. I could feel that someone was holding on to my hands.. My legs were weak, really weak, but I kept swaying…
This experience is good, but NOT ENOUGH!!!
sigh
Both of us are worlds apart. 我陪不上你。you’re multi talented, smart and all..
I’m not, I doubt I got a talent. I can’t even cook, and stuffs. Even support myself.
What your mum said in the past is still in my mind. Haiis.. I just don’t know how to describe what I’m thinking in my mind…
tired
Went for my jog(run), I’m dead tired now.. It feels like my dinner is gonna come out from my mouth soon ..
My breathing is shorter compare to the past, and my chest hurts a little.. What’s happening to my body.. My head hurts too.
Ran past two fields,one park, four condo, and one sch. Do you think that’s crazy?!?!
I’m still out of breath..
Was lying down at the fitness corner in punggol park just now.. I just felt a little relieved but still sad..
Lixian ask why I look so sad.
All I could say was: am i? Being sad can help improve things meh? I gotta be strong …
